Not Me: It won’t matter, because the people who do those things don’t ever listen. If a person is really a sociopath, they just don’t have the capacity to feel any empathy, it’s impossible for them to put themselves in the victims shoes. That’s what stops us from all being heartless killers, that we understand what it would be like to be a victim…
Me: They could put themselves in the victim’s shoes it they really wanted to, even if the shoes are way too small, they could squish their feet in there. Duh. It’s not like the dead people need shoes anymore anyway, you know? :/
~~~~~~~~~~~~
On Pitching Fits/Venting/Complaining:
Me: Really, I think pitching a fit is fun for everyone involved. The fit pitcher gets to yell, the fit catcher gets a good story to tell about the crazy bitch who pitched a fit, and onlookers get a little impromptu entertainment. Best part, is if you pitch a fit in public, and storm out the door, everyone still in the place is brought closer by having experienced your outburst. They make eye contact and say stuff like, “wow, she was mad” and chuckle. Bang, you’ve just created community bonding among a bunch of strangers in some store, and that’s just good karma.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
On advice column commenters:
Not Me: To all the posters so far.
Sanctimonious. Definition. Look it up please.Me: Hey! What gives? Why you wanna ruin all our fun? :( - We know what sanctimonious means, that is why we are here. Duh. It’s an advice column, irresistably tailor-made for us sanctimonious types. Not only do we get to play “I woulda done it different” with the letter writers, but we also get to play “I woulda given different advice” too. Be thankful that at least we’re not out there foisting our ill-concieved sanctimonous opinions on the public at large.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
After a long, involved discussion in the WaPo Ask Amy comments section:
Me: First, I just want to say I don’t mean to attack or jump down throats… I just get all riled up sometimes, somehow sometimes the love I mean to send along with my words doesn’t come thru that well… but I do offer in my defense that I had summed up by using the word frazzled. My point being that frazzled is an awesome word.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
On Commercials
Me: (…) friggin Electrolux commercials with Kelly Ripa… She flits around her kitchen and her house happy as a clam because using all the electrolux appliances helps her to be the mostest perfectest sweetest mommiest mommy ever! But it’s so totally unacheivable… nowhere in these ads do we see the dishes that she actually cooked the perfectly presented food in, Nothing piled up in the sink, no stray utensils on the countertop, we see her spooning pudding or some such nonsense, but the entire counter is spotless. not a single paper towel, or pudding box, or anything… I guess they just forgot to film the parts where a crew of 10 prep people actually prepared the food and then cleaned the surfaces. If I had a crew of 10 helping me out I could be the bestest mommiest mommy ever too, and I don’t even have kids. :/ … I get especially pissed at the slogan “You Can Be Even More Amazing!” Great, like I need that kind of pressure.
I understand if you are too overwhelmed with ecstasy to comment.
Tags: advice, egomania, Humor, Internet, me, not me, posts, sanctimonious, shoes, sociopaths
