TWIX OFFERS INTERACTIVE DATE-RAPE TUTORIAL
edit to add 9/8/09: Twix finally got a new commercial, but they totally cheated and just sliced off a part of the last scene in the online tutorial.
I’d been noticing lately how sexist the Twix commercials are, so I googled a bit, watched some of their commercials on youtube and then went to check out www.twix.com. I really wish I hadn’t.
First off, the latest Twix ad campaign, with commercials telling us to eat a Twix bar “When you need a moment to chew it over” is not only offensive to women, but men as well. Apparently Twix thinks that men are either too stupid to think of the proper things to say, or they are manipulative jerks who need twix-time to plan their next lie. Most of the men I know are neither stupid nor blatantly manipulative liars. Yet Twix commercials would have me believe they are.
Just in case you can’t recall any of these commercials, I’ll refresh your memory….
There is the one with an African American couple, where the woman asks her hubby if her booty looks fat in the jeans she is wearing. Apparently the man thinks that it does but doesn’t want to tell her, instead he shoves a twix bar into his mouth and mumbles something unintelligible. His woman apparently understands that the noise he is making is a compliment, and she squeals with delight.
There is the one with the two guys in the bookstore reading “How To Score A Mega-Hottie” when an attractive acquaintance of one of the men appears. She’s apparently offended at the title of the book and exclaims, “What are you reading?”. Her male friend eats a twix as he searches for the right response. Turns out that the right response is to pretend he didn’t realize what the book was about. He turns to his friend and exclaims “Dude, what ARE you reading?!”. The woman is so enamored of the honorable fellow that she agrees to go have a cup of coffee with him.
Then there is the latest one, it takes place at what seems to be a party, where two young singles are chatting. The woman is saying how politicians suck, and the man nods until she pauses, where he blurts out, “You want to come to my apartment?”. She huffs and says, “What kind of girl do you think I am?”. He sees that he has committed an error and stalls to get his bearings by taking a bite of Twix. The Twix inspires him to do some ‘Tom-Sawyer-when-he’s-painting-the-fence-reverse-psychology’ type trickery, where he basically says to the girl, “Oh sorry, I thought you really cared about the world and would want to blog about injustices, but if…” she interrupts when she hears the word blog, “Oh blogging! I love blogging! Let’s go!”
It was bad enough that Twix portrays both men and women as idiots; showing men too stupid to respond appropriately, and showing women so gullible that they don’t notice the obvious consternation of the men as they formulate lies; but when I visited twix.com I realized that it was way more fucked up than I thought.
Twix.com features a longer version of the latest commercial I described above, but they made it interactive so that when the man can’t decide what to do next, you choose his next action.
Let me break the choices down for you:
The first choice is after the fellow’s “Wanna come to my apartment” gaffe. We can tell him to “BE SHALLOW” or “BE DEEP”. Shallow apparently equals honest, because if you choose that option he goofily tells her that he thinks she is sexy, very sexy. Naturally, she slaps him and leaves. If you choose to ‘be deep’ he pulls the reverse psychology trick and, naturally, she falls for it and starts to leave with him.
(just screenshots:)
The second obstacle is when the woman bumps into another male friend on the way out. She invites the friend to come along, and we’re given the choice to either “BE MEAN TO BRUCE” or “KILL HIM WITH KINDNESS”. Being mean, like being shallow, equals honest, and that option makes our man confess that he doesn’t want Bruce to come along. Bruce gets his feelings hurt, and starts to whine and cry. The girl feels bad for him, calls the Twixguy a jerk or something, and tells him to get lost. Choosing “Kill him with kindness” gets Bruce assaulted; we are shown that the right thing to do is act nice and shake hands, but squeeze so hard that you injure the other person. Now, with a sore hand, Bruce says he can’t go, instead he will get some ice for his hand. The woman, oblivious to the violent power play that took place right in front of her, agrees with Twixguy that it’s too bad Bruce can’t come after all, and they head out the door.
The third choice happens outside, where the woman runs into another “acquaintance”, this time it’s her ex-lover Francois, who snottily says she looks so sad and that it must be because she misses him. She is just too stupid-shocked to think of a response and looks helplessly at her new Friend the Twixguy for help. Here we can choose “GET INVOLVED” or “DON’T GET INVOLVED”. Not getting involved results in Twixguy shrugging and saying, “Oh this is awkward.” The woman is upset at that, and ends up ditching twixguy and desperately running after Francois. If we choose to get involved, Twixguy emotionally wounds Francois with the stinging rejoinder “Uh, maybe it’s your stupid hat that she misses.” Grateful, our girl proudly clutches Twixguy’s arm as Francois slinks off, shamefully removing his beret.
Finally, Twixguy gets her back to his crappy studio apartment, where it becomes obvious that he doesn’t have a computer. Ever-oblivious, the female asks, “So where do we log on?”. Again, we get to decide what happens, either “BE HONEST” or “CONTINUE THE CHARADE”. At this point, I really thought the correct option was to be honest. I thought there would be a moral to this tale, but I was wrong; being honest gets the man tazed. On the other hand, continuing the charade by pretending that he has been burgled gets our man sympathy and, we are led to believe, some sex.
Ok, them’s are the facts. My reaction, of course, is that Twix sucks. What in the fuck are you thinking? Who is the marketing genius that came up with this campaign? The Twixguy in this little interactive adventure is as close to a textbook example of an acquaintance rapist as I’ve ever seen. I wonder, if eating a twix wasn’t able to help him lie and scheme for sex, would he instead be using roofies? No, actually, I don’t wonder that, it’s plainly obvious that he would.
So, to sum up… Twix:
1. Doesn’t understand that many African American men prefer women with a nice booty
2. Doesn’t understand that many African American women are proud of their big bootys
3. Offers an instructional interactive video for aspiring date-rapists.
4. Believes that men are stupid and slow.
5. Believes that women are ridiculously idiotic,
——-a) so idiotic that we can’t tell when a man is actively struggling to concoct a lie.
——-b) so idiotic that we will follow a man we just met to his apartment if given the chance to blog.
6. Likes to rely on the time-tested comedic gold of stereotyping gay guys (Bruce) and french dudes (Francois).
Just yuck, Twix. You used to be sweet, but now you’re just bitter, and not in the Happy way, but in the mean way. Do you really think men in their 20’s are the target demographic for chocolate? I can only assume that some ad agency researched and learned that men in their 20’s don’t buy Twix, and they convinced you that you needed to spend some big bucks on commercials to win over that demographic. Guess what though? Men don’t eat a lot of chocolate. Some do, but they won’t make a special trip to the store just to get some the way women do. Your stupid ads aren’t going to convince men to buy Twix bars, but they will piss off and alienate the loyal women who have been buying your product for years. Way To Go.
Wow. How do you really feel about the commercials, Khaki? Great post…
finkenwalde
June 5, 2008 at 5:06 am
Thanks
I just wish those friggin’ twixes weren’t so damn delicious.
Khaki
June 12, 2008 at 10:32 pm
Ooooh, I’ll have to never buy Twix again, not that it was ever a problem to begin with. Nice post, those commercials are disgusting.
m Andrea
June 15, 2008 at 4:08 am
I loved how the dark cynicism shows how seduction works in a patriarchy; dominance and cruelty smooth the path to physical connection. The initial conversation is a pretext for a venue change, playing the Alpha Male removes the gay friend as an inadvertent obstacle and prevents the Frenchman from doing a take-away (and why should our protagonist allow the bitter flavor of a coupling gone sour to ruin his evening?–Removing her from that discomfort is a favor, perhaps), and finally keeping the pretext allows her to deny her sexual agency and avoid being branded a slut. Finally, how can it be date rape when she initiates the touching?
It’s all through the sewage-colored glasses of patriarchy, of course, but many a man has been in the position of Bruce, Francois, or Twixguy, and many a college-age Nice Guy(tm) remembers the iron grip of the Alpha Male preempting his social life with a well-timed putdown. This is not necessarily going to move Twix(tm) off the shelves, but it provides men who are well aware of how patriarchy functions a bitter laugh of recognition, and possibly a bit of introspection for those who really do live like Twixguy.
Eurosabra
June 16, 2008 at 6:42 pm
This is a wonderful and insightful comment. As a man, I HATE these commercials, and feel forced to turn them down every time I hear them. I now realize that the feeling of disgust I have is that these commerciials portray men as TwixGuys and women as accepting recipients of shallow/cruel/disrespectful fllirtatious advances. There is some hope you offer here if it provides “a bit of introspection for those who really do live like Twixguy.” However, all I am left with is that it makes me feel ill and like I’m in a nightmare frat party.
Mark
May 30, 2009 at 6:37 am
twix is so old school they should just leave it alone i been eating twix since
i was 12 years old back than i used to like but i stopped eating it last year when i was 20 years now i’m 23 that was back in 2005, for eight years i was eating twix,from 1997 to 2005 the reason why i stopped eating twix is because of the thick cheesy-ass carmel they put in there it’s so disgusting.
babatunji bell
July 10, 2008 at 11:33 am
Amusing, but I think your date-rape headline is well…complete idiocy. Give me a break.
Brad
July 30, 2008 at 1:10 am
[...] but even if they do, there will still be a zillion terrible ads by every other Axe imitator and candy bar manufacturer out there. Working to change the media is a big, long-term goal, and we should [...]
If You Love Date Rape, You’re A Mitchum Man
August 3, 2008 at 7:41 pm
Brad Says: “Give me a break.”
Mmmmm KitKat …..
Khaki
September 21, 2008 at 10:53 pm
seriously? Date rape? when do they even make out. You’re lame babe. LAME
leah
April 8, 2009 at 11:52 am
Your writing is succinct yet incisive, your observations keen. I like it.
name
April 23, 2009 at 10:28 am
Don’t forget the idiot sneaking into his bedroom in the middle of the night, his wife confronting him, then conking out when he tells her he is getting up early for work, I think it is.
Poor guillible woman.
Tara
May 5, 2009 at 11:33 am
Oh yeah! I totally forgot about that one!
AF
May 22, 2009 at 6:44 am
YAA Adding this to my bookmarks. Thank You
gold high heel shoes
June 14, 2009 at 3:59 am
This post is about as tired and unoriginal as the Twix commercial it meticulously dissects. Just as sex and male stupidity have been overused in advertising, hasn’t bitching and making a big deal about it been overdone in blogging?
Michael
July 1, 2009 at 8:24 am
Agreed. There may be a wee bit of over-reaching with the “outrage” over this. Gotta blog about something, I guess.
boo
July 1, 2009 at 9:48 am
I know it, I just HATE the way Twix is generalizing and stereotyping poor men and women. As if we’re all the same! As if we all blindly conform to expected social norms! I think the blog author really sums it up well at the end of her entry-
“Guess what though? Men don’t eat a lot of chocolate. Some do, but they won’t make a special trip to the store just to get some the way women do. Your stupid ads aren’t going to convince men to buy Twix bars, but they will piss off and alienate the loyal women who have been buying your product for years.”
Way to tell ‘em!
Derek
July 3, 2009 at 10:13 am
Twix is NOT generalizing or stereotyping men nor women. There would have to be an underlying truth for it to be a generalization or stereotype.
Men are taller than women – a generalization, a stereotype, a GENERAL truth.
Vs.
Men are liars and women are gullible – a misrepresentation, a lie, NOT A GENERAL TRUTH. Or:
I understand that maybe you DO think that men are liars, women are gullible, all gays are effeminate, and french guys are smarmy beret-wearers – and if you DO think that, then of course you wouldn’t see a problem with these groups (men, women, gays, french) being represented the way they are in twix’s little adventure. That would make you a bigot – “a person who is obstinately devoted to prejudices, especially when these views are either challenged, or proven to be false or not universally applicable or acceptable.”
I have no problem with guys trying to get laid. If it weren’t for guys trying to get laid the species would die out. I’ve even tried to help out.
THE POINT IS:
That the website, Twix.com, (which is what I dissected, not the commercial btw) has a “choose the right answer” adventure where every “right” answer is morally reprehensible.
Do you mean to say that you agree that the right thing for this young man to do is lie, manipulate, hurt some effeminate guy, get involved in some french dude’s bullshit just to get a girl back to his apartment under false pretenses?
It would have been so awesome if the right answers where actually the “right” answers. It would have been nice to see the man rewarded for honesty, because you know what, contrary to what the media tries to frighten us into believing, most of us are all decent people who understand that honesty IS the best policy.
I come across articles and essays protesting the way men, and fathers in particular are portrayed as idiots in commercials, I think it’s just as reprehensible for men to be portrayed as dishonest sex-focused manipulators. You’re welcome to disagree.
AF
July 3, 2009 at 2:17 pm
I saw about this load of bull on facebook. Come on, it is marketing! Just a marketing ploy! It makes puts men and women down equally, its all a damn joke. Has society become such pissy little thing over every subject that we have to be PC about everything?! Get a grip! I am a woman and I am not offended at all by the comercials, they are actually kind of funny. Thanks for to you and the idoit who started the “boycott twix…” group on facebook though, it made me want to support Twix even more because of this stupidity. So I went and bought a pack of them! Didn’t think it would turn around and bite you in the ass did you?
Cynthia
July 4, 2009 at 8:27 pm
Hush now Cynthia, no reason to get all worked up and hysterical. I’m not boycotting twix, I just had one the other day. Yummy! If other people wanna boycott they can, if people don’t wanna boycott they won’t. Doesn’t matter to me, do whatever you want.
AF
July 5, 2009 at 3:07 pm
Wow, “hysterical”. Now who is sexist? If you take a deep look at the original meaning of the word you will know what I am talkig about.
BTW, who is the one so worked up over it…I’m not the one who spent all the time on a writing a blog post and titling it “Twix offers DATE RAPE TUTORIAL”. Hmmm…thats stretching it a bit, I wouldn’t exactly call that “date rape”, I went to the site, played the little game. Its nothing. Doesn’t teach anything, nor does it promote anything.
Meh, whatever.
Cynthia
July 5, 2009 at 4:04 pm
“Wow, “hysterical”. Now who is sexist?”
… That was kinda the point.
AF
July 9, 2009 at 3:35 am
The subtext of the daterape tutorial begins from a center right stance as well. with the Preppy (dare I say Perppy) conniving to convince the stupid airhead bleeding heart liberal that he loves protesting and, after twix inspired insight, blogging. As if the misogyny didn’t drives off half the consumer base (women) the right-wing subtext goes to alienate half of the men they are marketing to by uniting protesting to a lack of masculinity.
Haven’t bought a twix since I saw this piece of shit commercial, which unfortunately is all over adult swim and comedy central.
dirty dudley
July 21, 2009 at 6:12 pm
Thank you. I stumbled across the website and was so offended. I was surprised that this is one of the only published outrages over this disgusting add.
Cookie
July 23, 2009 at 3:55 pm
Thank God someone else agrees
Dero
September 12, 2009 at 6:34 pm
I hate these commercials too. And for everyone who comes with the genius and original point that “it’s just marketing lol get over it”… well, you’re kind of missing the point. Sure, this is just one little thing. But if you look around, it’s one little thing in a whole ocean of them. Some ad guys thought people would identify with this. These stupid commercials reflect and inform pop culture, which is a big influence on society.
If there weren’t really dudes out there like Twixguy, yeah, maybe this would be funny. But there are. So it’s not.
Lemur
September 13, 2009 at 8:51 pm