My Man Has Lots Of Questions

 

…Questions for me, about everything, all the time.

Oh no… it’s not questions like “where have you been all night and what’s that stuck in your hair?”, It’s questions like, “Have you ever eaten sushi?” or “Have you ever been to Guatemala?”

Now, these are perfectly harmless questions… When you’re getting to know someone, these are questions you might ask. But the man has known me for going on 4 years; he knows there is no way on gods green earth that I would eat sushi, and he knows that I’ve never been out of the country….

He asks questions like….

“Would you like to have some of this potato? No? Are you sure? Have you ever had potatoes like this? Where did you have potatoes like this before? Won’t you just have a bite? You like other types of potatoes, don’t you? You eat french fries don’t you? Why don’t you want any of this potato? “

Or

“Doesn’t your cat like this turkey stuff? He liked the other turkey stuff didn’t he? Is there something different about them? Does he like the tuna?”

Or

If we are at the store and I say “I’d like to get some of these cookies,” he goes “oh well what about these cookies, or these, or these look good. Have you ever had these? Do you want to try these?” Yeah, I saw the damn cookies, and decided I wanted these cookies. I just want to get the cookies I want without having to fend off a million questions about stupid cookies.

I mean seriously, questions one right after another, and exchanges like that happen constantly when we are together, and it drives me crazy.

He’s charming, that’s for sure, a goldmine for small talk at parties. But I just might have to kill him one of these days. I keep telling the cat to flay him, but the cat never listens.